Love story



Margo was sitting in a summer cafe, sipping her cocktail and looking for someone in the crowd. Suddenly she felt a touch on her shoulder. She heard an ingratiating gentle voice (apart from thousands of strangers voices it seemed to be so familiar) asking: “Would you dance with me, Marina?” She had no wish to wonder why Johnny Depp was perfectly speaking Russian. Margo just gave him her hand and forgot about everything dancing tango.
Every woman has such kind of dreams after which it’s so hard to wake up. In fact they are so bright and perfect that reality compared with them seems to be so hopeless. The only thing you can do is hug your pillow and try to go back to your fantasy, which makes your heart burn and tears appear on your cheeks… The scientists call this asksepism – running away from reality. But the world is so wonderful and big that you can’t just run away! And of course Marina Shutova, who lives in Sent Petersburg, has a lot of responsibilities. The most important is her big family: her husband, four children, two dogs, a Siamese cat, and two lop-eared rabbits, each of them need her love and care and of course they get it. However Marina’s heart belongs to her “most important man in the world” – to the American actor Johnny Depp.

The great DEPPression.
It all began in 1992. Johnny Depp had just come back from shooting an “Arizona Dream” and was trying to make his relationship with Vaynona Raider clear. When Johnny was quarrelling with someone he didn’t watch TV he used to smash it. And of course he had missed the scandalous report about the increase of piracy in the countries of The Third World. Meanwhile on “the other side of the planet” Marina pressed the play button on the video recorder (there was a pirate’s video cassette inside, the thing you could get then). The title “Cry-baby” appeared on the screen.
In Marina’s collection there’re 4000 photos, 25 DVDs with movies and videos and lots of magazines with articles about her idol. During thirteen years of being a fan Marina has watched “Cry-baby” for about forty times – and it is still her favorite movie. However Marina doesn’t like the word “fan”. It is connected with dependence, madness and unhealthy ecstasy.
A fan in the crowd of fans looses control over himself. He looks just like an animal, worse than an animal. “When I fell in love with my hero I wasn’t in my early teens, when it doesn’t matter what to love the cocaine or a rock star.” – Marina says – “I was a personality with strong views on life and on relationships between people. All in all nothing changed – I haven’t left my husband or children and I haven’t tried to chase my idol. I just feel him somewhere near me everyday. His face is always in my mind. In fact I’m a sensible woman and this is the only thing that prevents me from thinking that if I see him, I’ll lose consciousness…”
Marina’s diaries, which were written then, were full of despair: “If I visited psychologist those days, his diagnose would be really bad”- she laughs. But she thinks that there are a lot of parallel things in the world: summer never “meets” winter; tiger never catches a penguin; a stone never turns gold. Her life is a good example of this hypothesis: her desire of being with a famous American star has never disturbed her happiness in her family life. That’s what Marina thought about. What’s more she gave her husband a part of her desirable love (Actually he looks a little like Johnny). However Vitaliy (her husband) didn’t consider her theory – “the parallel things” – to be right.


The DEPPortation.
For almost thirteen years Johnny Depp lived his “simple” life – starred in great movies, drank “Absent”, found and dumped “his” women, beat the reporters, who chased his family, collected beetles, bought islands – and was unaware that he was watched by his devoted admirer, who was so far away.
However, in 1998 Marina became a little closer to her idol. Johnny found “his right” woman and moved to France. He was closer, but still so far as never before. Marina was sure of it – because he turned to be a good husband and caring father. However, his marriage wasn’t a tragedy for Marina, because the tragedy was developing in her own family…
A FAN HAS A PREJUDICIAL VIEW ON THE WORLD. WHILE THE ADMIRER SEES IT THROUGH THE PRIZME OF HUGE BUT ADEQUATE ADMIRATION. It seems that being jealous of the desirable relationship with a Hollywood star is silly and funny. Nevertheless, Vitaliy didn’t think so. He couldn’t understand why he had to share his wife with someone else. “Go to Johnny Depp and live with him if you want!” – He shouted. Marina told me about it with smile, but it wasn’t funny at all then. No doubt, her intuition said: “Stop thinking about all these “silly” things. Why do you need this unreachable stranger, when you have your own dear one?” But she couldn’t just stop loving Johnny – it was impossible! What was the point? The psychologists say that you should look for the answer in your past. When Marina was a little girl, she used to love animals and dreamed of working in the circus. She joined the circus club. What’s more she liked to play with homeless animals and once even gave an entrecote, cooked by her neighbour, to the dog, called Bobby. Her neighbour got furious. Marina was “sent” to a camp where she met Vitaliy. However, she couldn’t stop dreaming of an interesting job.
But she had to give up her dreams and enter a trade university. It seemed to be a good choice, because the problem of food supplies was one of the biggest in Russia then. But Marina didn’t think so. Working as a cashier she was still thinking about something more exciting. Surprisingly, bringing up her child became really interesting. With a great excitement she watched her baby growing. After her first child – Sasha, she gave a birth to Alesha and Andrey. But still Marina dreamed of little dresses, which she could put on a pretty girl. Eventually she gave a birth to Julia – her daughter. So, Marina then got her most important profession – that of being mother. She thought that it was nothing better than sewing carnival costumes or doing other things for her kids.
A few years later Marina said: “Bringing up children and cooking the dinner every evening is thankless. My youth, dedicated to my family, has passed, and my hopes for self-realization have been lost”.
Isn’t it the reason why millions of housewives have complexes of pipe dreams – feeling lonely, putting on weight…? And, of course they’re trying to find a way of “escape” in their hobbies-knitting, poetry or the love to their idol?!
Luckily, Vitaliy was wise enough to understand that Johnny wasn’t his rival. He even tried to support his wife’s hobby-starting to buy her DVDs, magazines and posters with her idol. Her children don’t miss any movie with Johnny. They feel happy when he is awarded and are indignant that he hasn’t still been given an Oscar, they’ve learnt his schedule of shootings by heart. So, that’s how Johnny has become a part of Shutov’s family.


The DEPPartment of love.
Johnny wasn’t afraid of being old-fashioned, when he decided, that there would be no computer in his house. Our “homo-computerized” generation can’t understand that. What is life without mailing friends, chatting with them, etc.? Actually, Johnny Depp has heard about his fan-sites. But he knows nothing about the Russian one, though it is on the third place in the popularity rating, though its administrator is a woman, caring for Johnny so much, that she has created this site.
The idea stroke Marina when she was looking through some sites in her “Favorites”. She suddenly understood that she knew even more about Johnny than his foreign fans. Her first site wasn’t a perfect one. However it was a great pleasure, particularly when it was visited by foreign friends. But Russian visitors still wondered who that Johnny Depp was. So Marina decided to tell them everything about Johnny. She added some articles, told his biography, recommended his movies.
Margo (this nick-name was chosen by her mum, who thought that Marina is too simple name for her special girl) has already made three versions of her site, but the desirable result isn’t still reached.
“I’m not a web-designer, but I can’t hire a person, who doesn’t care.” – She says – “My site is nice, but nondescript. I’m waiting for a professional, who will help me to reach the right level”. Marina’s site is the place where lots of people find a shelter – they share impressions with each other, admire his photographs (which show his everyday life: shopping or playing with his children), learn the latest news and some things that are kept in secret (for example his address or his agent’s phone number).
All in all, Margo’s site is so popular that she’s even thinking about placing some advertisement there. Soon her hobby may become profitable. But it doesn’t matter. The main thing is – communication with her friends, “united” by Johnny. They sometimes even meet each other.
Their favorite “meeting place”, besides the primieres of Johnny’s films, is the cafe “Chaynaya Lojka”, where delicious pancakes with different fillings are served. Margo even spends time with “the younger generation”, though she is really busy now- her children have graduated and she has a lot of work in her vegetable garden. She even has no time to wear her T-shirt with Johnny’s photo! However, Margo is not a kind of fan, who tries to imitate her idol. She knows that Johnny likes “absent” but she prefers red wines. She understands that Johnny loves old-fashioned shoes though she never buys anything but latest design. She knows that in the movie “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” the character’s story was just like that of Johnny’s but it doesn’t prevent her from despising such kind of life – drinking alcohol, taking drugs and wasting time. “I’m far from thinking only about Johnny.” – Marina says. – “He is what he is, and I am what I am!” She repeats this so often and in such a serious manner, that she sometimes has a doubt: isn’t she trying to protect herself from her own feelings? Love without any requital, boundless love, doesn’t have any reasons. The feeling, that gives you the wings to fly from tedium routine and then throws you onto the sharp rocks of despair, will certainly leave a scar in a woman’s heart, still bleeding for him as long as the heart beats. “To see him – is my desire.” – Marina says. She is practicing English, learning French, saving money to visit Paris (if she doesn’t meet Johnny, she’ll at least visit Man Ray – his cafe.) When I asked her “What will you say to him, if you meet him?” Marina shrugged her shoulders and said: “I have always talked to him in my dreams, so I’m sure I’ll find what to say!” She is an unselfish woman. Her story deserves (if not understood) respect at least. I want to believe that if Johnny Depp comes to Moscow, after all the official ceremonies, he will certainly visit his devoted admirer-Marina Shutova!



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